| | Feast of the Sacred Heart
Obsession or Discernment?
When is the discernment of religious life, not discernment of religious
life? This has been a question that I have been asking myself rather
recently, and I have found myself pondering on it lately. I have seen a
great number of young girls who have been discerning the religious
life. Many of them are in high school or college, with a few beyond
that even. I have seen several that thought they had a call, but have
decided that it should not be further sought after for one reason or
another. I have also seen, on the other hand, many young ladies who
have become obsessed with religious life and becoming a Sister. Now, it
is very good to have a desire for the religious life and have interest
in it, but it is not healthy to have an obsession with it, just as it
is not healthy to have an obsession with anything. Holy things are
good, but an obsession is not healthy, and is really a great hindrance to becoming holy.
How
can you tell the difference from true discernment of religious life
from obsession? It is not easy to decipher either, unless you are
spiritually mature. First, we must seek the Kingdom to find where the
King desires us to be in His Kingdom. In these matters, I can speak
from my own experience. Now, it really has not been until recently that
I have felt some maturation of my soul. I would not even dare to say
that my soul is totally mature even, but step by step, it is ascending.
Until
quite recently, I have been an immature, and somewhat obsessed soul in
discerning the religious life. I was there for the praise sometimes
that I would get. Now, it was good holy praise, but if taken in and fed
to the ego, it is no longer holy. For example, a friend would ask if I
was still thinking about becoming a nun, and I would simply reply yes.
They would say things like "Good!" "We'll be praying for you!" "That's
great!" and the like. Now, not that any of these things are bad things
to say, but if not taken with great humility, these bits of sugar feed
the ego until it is inflated and one becomes very proud of their
'special' calling.
Now, do not get me wrong here. The call to
the religious life is a precious and unique call! It truly is a special
and very sacred thing to behold! It must be something revered like
Mary's call was revered. How many people knew of her miraculous calling
to be the Mother of God? Very few indeed! Her most chaste spouse, St.
Joseph, surely knew as we are told this in the Scriptures. Elizabeth
knew as well, for God had revealed it to her. They were told as to give
glory to God. It was revealed only to those that needed to in God's
great plan of salvation. Jesus Himself did not reveal the greatness of
his mother on earth. Likewise, our calling needs to be protected and
revered. Our calling is a great gift from God and ought not to be misused.
Still,
there are more signs of obsession. One of which that I have seen in
many young women, along with myself, is a desire to know as many
Sisters and communities as possible, and when in conversation show off
this knowledge of communities. Now, it is one thing if someone is
asking for information or if anyone has been there and there is a
response to that in the spirit of informing another. But if one thinks
the more Religious they know makes them more knowledgeable about
religious life in general and will speak only about 'their' community,
it can be that pride has snuck into your calling. This matter though,
is still touchy and can vary from case to case, as I am not totally
done thinking about the matters discussed above.
Along the same
lines as above though, is that once one finds a community that God is
leading them towards, suddenly, without even entrance or acceptance to
the community, they find themselves to be part of the community. If the
community is Franciscan, suddenly, they are Franciscan too! They must
only read Franciscan books and about Franciscan Saints! Oh! They must
now find a favorite Franciscan Saint! Now, they must get Franciscan
things! Medals, jewelry, statues, holy cards, books! They must get to
know every Franciscan they see, or even seek them out, and let them
know that they too will be a Franciscan! There is just so much, and
they must immerse themselves in it all! Surely, does this not sound
obsessive, even to the common man? Discerning the religious life calls
us to detachment, not attachment. We must continue to grow spiritually.
We cannot limit ourselves to one spirituality of one order or
community. Is anyone ever really truly Franciscan then? Yes. When one
enters the order. But, through and through, we must first seek to
become holy. Becoming one order or another does not effect how holy we
are. Our human tastes like to take over and we find ourselves full of
pride. How many religious have you met that take great pride in being
one order or another? Sure, they will talk about how wonderful and holy
the Saints of the order are and that the spirituality is beautiful, but
all Saints are holy and wonderful and things that lead you close to
Christ are beautiful, too. But there is no pride. To be holy, one must
conquer pride.
Now, I am not saying it is not good to seek holy things in life, but we must seek them maturely and with great spiritual discernment and detachment. Great
things come when the soul is mature. There are many other thoughts
about this subject that have still yet to be thought about and
considered. There are a great number of delicacies in this matter and
need to be handled with care. I do not mean to upset anyone with my
words, but please take them with a grain of humility and
self-reflection. I too am guilty of committing these faults in my
discernment. Please pray for me, and for holy and fervent priests and
religious. God bless you all abundantly!
Lord, Thy Will Be Done!
http://iamahandmaidofthelord.blogspot.com/
|
| | Posted 6/15/2007 2:22 PM - 27 Views - 4 eProps - 2 comments
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
